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[Sunday
October 29th, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Busted-Year 3000 |
] |
Well.
Today was pretty awesome. I got to see a baby. & she was absolutely beautiful. i can't believe how amazingly pretty she was, & just so perfect in every way.
& although i didn't get to spend the day where i wanted, i was pleased i went where i went. & indirectly, i still got to speak to the person i wanted to spend the day with, even if i was a bit out of order on him. i'm sorry, if you're reading this.
well, that's about it, im please about everything, pretty much. apart from some of my friends being withdrawn, it's okay because i can sort them out. i have a friend that i am so fucking proud of, & another friend that i'm worried about, yet still love to fucking pieces.
that's all.
.xo
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| T'dee :] |
[Friday
October 20th, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Fall Out Boy-Dance, Dance |
] |
Well, today was awesome.
I HAD HOT CHOCOLATE! WITH MARSHMALLOWS!
Nah I'm kidding, that wasn't the highlight of my day.
The highlights were spending time with people I love, & sorting things out with people, & I found out some people love me for who I am, & want to help me through what they can see is me having a tough time of it, even though I shouldn't be having that.
I'm really sad that other people were sad but I still love them.
I'm in a thinky mood, it's awesome. It's one of the first time in ages that I've been in a good thinky mood & not in a bad thinky mood. Yay @me.
& I got a lot of hugs, even from strangers. I also had fun before I went to Bluewater but I won't broadcast that, lol.
Love everyone @Bluewater today.
Apart from the "drunk" people.
.xo
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| Today was.... |
[Friday
September 29th, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Killers-Mr Brightside |
] |
Awesome.!
I had an amaazing day @school cause we had people in to teach us about revising well &it actually wasn't boring AT ALL [le gasp].
Then I won bubbles.! Which was great. But then Gemma dared me to drink the bubble mixture. Y'know me...don't turn down a dare...
So my throat was sore &I felt sick. Yay me.! Then I went down the town &bought stuff &tried on jeans &shiz &had a really good time with Gem &Will &then we went &dropped Will off @the bus stop, &then we went off &had chips &looked around T K Maxx some more &had like loadsa fun throwing chips &talking about people &stuff [Nothing horrible though, only good things, I'M NOT MEAN ANYMORE] :]
Then we went to talking about meeting @an Argos on Mars &that would be awesome if we got to go to Mars to do shopping. FUN CONVERSATION :D.
Well today was awesome, so thankyooooo all :]
.x.
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| Hum. |
[Tuesday
September 26th, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 uncomfortable |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Evanescence-Whisper |
] |
Well today's been just great.
I've fallen out with about 4 people, I didn't speak to Bekah at all today, Beth wasn't in AGAIN, I can no longer text a certain person, I found out something@ lunch I didn't really want to know, I don't have anything to do, I'm hungry &tired, &need to do my Social Ed. homework. My only highlight was listening to Green Day @ lunch. Which was actually the highlight of my week. ily Rachel.
But apart from that, my life pretty much sucks.
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[Monday
September 25th, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Dashboard Confessional-A Plain Morning |
] |
Today was bad.
Like really bad.
I hardly spoke to Rachel so I got sad.
Beff wasn't even in.
&Me &Gem barely talked.
&Nix was even more of an annoying bitch than usual.
&D of E meeting almost killed me.
&I didn't get an hour with Will like I usually do after school on Mondays.
&I haven't eaten all day &my head hurts cause I threw up too much.
I feel like shit &I can't change it.
Guhness much.
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| One Word. |
[Friday
September 22nd, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
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High School Musical Soundtrack :] |
] |
HIGHSCHOOLMUSICAL.!
C'mon.
Bring it.!
Tonight, with the best person in the world, I'm gunna be watching the film that I've waited weeks to see.
I really can't wait.
I haven't been this excited in ages.
Wow, me loves it.!
.x.
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| For Fucks Sake. |
[Thursday
September 21st, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Dunno. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
All American Rejects-It Ends Tonight |
] |
How come a good day can end up so shittily?
I feel bad about everything I've done today.
I got upset &angry &got stressed. &now everyone's yelling @me &I'm in a state, one of the ones where I'm so SICK of life &I can't change my way of thinking? The one where I'm in hysterics &I want to strangle myself because I can't get through the mood? Where I feel the need to pull my own hair out, because I'm almost vomiting I'm so stressed? I'm having a fit , but because I'm in a state of frustration, not of misery?
I'm in one of them states of mind.
& tbh it's because of my fucking life that's been turned upside down &the one that's never going to be right again.
I'm in one of those moods where I want to let everything go to one person, but no one I need is around. I need people in the flesh. MSN isn't fucking good enough. I can't bring myself to speak to people because I'll literally be sick if they say anything wrong. Which is highly likely, bearing in mind the state my brain's in at the moment.
ily everyone, you know who you are. &people that have fucked up my life? Well done, you've accomplished your goal.
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| Cool Day. |
[Thursday
September 21st, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Something Corporate-Punk Rock Princess |
] |
Well. Today. Was fun, for once.
I got told I was good in Geography, which is a first, &I was quite proud of myself seeing as the bitch hates me. &I was proud of my graph too, so I showed it t'everyone :]. Then we had English &Gem tickled my feet a lot when I stuck them round the back of her chair. then I was accused of having sex with Gem cause I was squealing a lot. I was amused. &found out View From The Bridge is the best book evar. Then Maths was good cause I finished my exam &it was fun. Yer, I said a Maths exam was fun, calm down. Then DT. Mr Duffy was REALLY nice to me for no reason, &I was actually pleased @the end of a DT lesson which hasn't happened once this year so far.
Then home time.! Will didn't walk so I was sad. But it was okay cause I walked with ALL the cool people. I spent loadsa time with Pip which made me happy, then Me, Rachel, Mikey &Beff went to the park &mucked about. I cut my finger open racing Beff up the tower thingy but I won :]. SO worth it :]. Rachel hurt her leg, thanks to Mikey &me but we're really sorry Rachel.! Honest. I swear to God.Even though he isn't real. Hum. Then we discussed marriages &what we're doing when we get married, &who we're going to have as bridesmaids &stuff. Beff &Rachel are bridesmaids, &Mikeys pageboy along with Charlie :]. Now all I have to do is find a groom....not a lot to think about then...Lol.
That's about it really. But the day was fabooloos.
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[Friday
September 15th, 2006 ] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
Wow.
Today was awesome.
I was @school most of it, but after school was like, le best time I've had in AGES.
We went down Dartford. Cause we're HardXcore. & then we walked back up the road to school. Cause we're Scene. Right Bekahr?
Then we went &got the bus, cause we're emo. Then these chavs started being twats &me &Bekahr got "pulled by chavs on a bus unwillingly", unless Bekah was willing ;].
& then we had a camwhore session waiting for the bus.
We went to the CHINESE &it was well cool cause we had fun stuff& it hardly cost anything.
We went mad &I was still hungry, even after a chinese so we went &got some sweets. I stacked up i.e. picnic, EX EX EX large bag of maltesers, a double milky way, chewing gums, shocking cola whippy things & polos. FUN. Then I went hyper &threw maltesers @a tree. Cause it wanted some. Then I threw some @a passing car, &the passing car pulled over in front of us so we all ran :]. I nearly got everyone in DEEP shit & everyone was shitXscared but we were pissing ourselves laughing @the same time. We all changed clotes & tried to look inconspicuous, even though we had just run from a pulling-over car. HUM, GUILTY CONSCIENCE?!
We went mad &Sian went home &we walked past the brigde &the railway & started talking about suicide, then a piccie session started, &then Bekahr found a HUGE dragonfly, that was literally the size of my hand, &we took a pic of it. BLATES going on my website.
We went &took an emo quiz. Fun.
Then that was it.
But it was a pretty Fuckingawesome night.
I <3 you all.
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| Mkay... |
[Thursday
September 14th, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Blink 182-Everytime I Look For You |
] |
Like LOADS of people have said I'm like Jane in Pride & Prejudice.One person said it, I was all "nah" but then everyone started saying it.
Now I'm scared.
"Oh, you are a great deal too apt, you know, to like people in general. you never see a fault in anybody. All the world are good & agreeable in your eyes. I never heard you speak ill of another human being in my life." "With your good sense, to be so honestly blind to the follies & nonsense of others. Affectation & candour is common enough, one meets it everywhere, but to be candid without ostenatation or design, to take the good of everbody's character & make it still better, & say nothing of the bad, belongs to you alone."
It isn't true, is it? I'm not too like this am I?
Help, people.
Gawd.
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| Well. |
[Sunday
September 10th, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Blink 182-Adam's Song |
] |
I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will I <3 Will.
Sorry. Had to get that out of my system. I haven't even finished the weekend && I've already had a fucking fantastic time. 2 days with the most amazing person in the world. We had ecstacy sessions [NO ONE will get this but us so don't bother asking], had fun, && just generally made each other smile. A lot. && we had a lot of giggles, at our expenses, && at others', && just generally the time was amazing.
Thankyou Will for making me smile. Not because I felt like I had to, but because I wanted to. Smiling for no apparent reason while looking at someone has become unbelievably common in my life recently.
That's it. .x.
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| Wowie =] |
[Friday
September 1st, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Blink 182-Dumpweed |
] |
I have just smiled like I've never smiled before thanks to Bekah.
We are now officially going to start a double act of MonkeyBum && Smash.
Just to keep us both happy.
I am assuming we'll do our first audience tomorrow on the train.
Very fun. I can't wait.
Me loves Bekah cause she made me hap-py for the day =]
<3 .x.
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[Wednesday
August 30th, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
A Fucking Amazing One. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Deathcab For Cutie: I Will Follow You Into The Dark |
] |
Today. Was fucking amazing. Thanks to one person.
I felt wanted. I felt like I was actually worth something, && once I was told, I felt like I was beautiful. I haven't felt like that in about 4 years, && it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world, && I don't know how to describe it. apart from amazing. Perfect. A feeling that you would never want to stop feeling. The best feeling in the world. It's like feeling love again for the first time. the feeling gave me butterflies, && I had a warm && tingly feeling inside me that made me want to burst into tears. I can't believe how much of an electric feeling it was. It was truly amazing. I want to feel it more. It's just up to my mind whether it'll let me feel it again. Whether I'll be, yet again, vulnerable enough to believe what I'm told, no matter what my opinion is. to let my guard down, to forget my views on myself, && to just leave all my insecurities behind.
I love you Will. You're amazing. Truly perfect.
That's all
[Ooh, && another thing: I'm someone's little angel :)]
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| Fun.! |
[Friday
August 25th, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Gym Class Heroes && the Academy Is...-Naked Peekaboo |
] |
Wellss.
Me && Rachem had one of our trips today. Down to Dirtford, t'was. We had a fun time. We did. We did a good deed, we had fun, && we stripped in Dartford Park. Well, I did.
We wandered, && had a good time doing it. We went to our shop, && bought stuff. Like frisbees *vibrates* && we got our very own Magic Roundabout party cones, which were a big bundle of fun =P.
We went to see if we could have McDonalds yet. We couldn't cause someone had stolen our seat =[ Then we were sad, but we got happier cause we went && bought tops from New Look, && underwear which has monkeys on =P. It was well fun, && we wandered more after that. We went to McDonalds again, && then we saw Will && his homies. Which was fun. Then we had to run off && so did he. By this time, our table was STILL taken up in McDonalds, so we went && opened our Magic Roundabout stuff on a bench. We played with jumping beans, which was VERY fun =] && Rachel's crotch took a special liking to. Then we went wandering yet AGAIN, && we saw Will again, then went to the park.
the park? WELL. We were sitting talking, as you do. We were obviously occupied. A woman was sitting alone, && she looked as if she was occupied with writing something. As time grew on, this woman picked up her things, && came to sit with me && Rachel. Me && Rachel exchanged glances, but this woman was friendly && said that she was by ehrself, && we made "smalltalk" about us being by ourself, && it being nice to sit with someone && whether we minded if she came to sit with us. We thought it rather strange but let this woman anyway. We chatted, about school, school years, && shizzle. then she moved onto boyfriends =\. We talked about boyfriends for a bit, then suddenly she started telling me && Rachel about her boyfriend problems, && that she has a boyfriend who she's been with for 9 years, since secondary school, who she has had two kids with. Who's just walked out on her. She was asking us whether we thought he was coming back. We weren't sure, but gave the best advice we could. Then she droned on. && on. && on. Then got out fucking PHOTOS. We were sitting there about an hour with this woman, with her pouring her heart out. I think Rachel fell asleep for part of it. Then, thank GOD wil came along, && I said this is my bofriend. With that, she left, && thanked us, then walked off.
As Rachel stated, "Do we have a neon flashing sign above saying Relation Advice Given Here?" Jeesh. Will was all "Who the fuck was that?!" It was funny. But it was 1000000% strange as well. Weird woman. Me && Rachel were freaked out. We walked off && wandered some more. Went off to have McDonalds. which was great. Then we found Will in the park again && spent time over there whilst Chris stole our frisbees, then Brad freaked me out with SpiderTalk =\. Then we went off, whilst will && friendies ran off to Bluewater. Me && Rahel went to get beads && photobooth pictures.
We also went to the park && ate sweets && made an awesome invention-Dr Pepper && Vimto. Awesomest thing ever. Ooh, of course apart from Dermott. =]. Rachel's pet frog, that we got. Who is awfully cute.
We had an awesome day today, yet again, so thankyou Rachem.!
Quote Of The Day: "Where you wanna go?" "Canada.!" "Okay. Canada's Purple.!" "What?!"
Quote Of The Day 2: "Why the hell did she ask two teenagers for relationship advice?! Hasn't she HEARD of AskJeeves?!"
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[Wednesday
August 23rd, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hilary Duff-The Beat Of My Heart |
] |
Now this is LESS lazy because this was only for yesterday. But I'm still lazy. Sorry Will, me loves you.
We went Bluewater after I got to Will's yesterday. We went to see Cars. && We didn't see anyone we knew. Apart from Jack. Hehe.
We went outside, && laid in the grass, then we were talking about muscles a lot. Then we laid about && I got pushed over a few times cause I was too dirty. Which was funny. then my tummy && the rest of me was tickled, then I was all tickly =[.
Then we went to the cinema. && we went up the stairs. Or rather, I went up the stairs, Will took the escalator. We had a race. I blates won it. =]. But then I had a stupid belt that had 3 thingys so will beat me out. Grr.
Then went to see the film. && Will made us go into thw wrong thingy. Yeah, it was his fault. then we went into the RIGHT thingy. Which was good. then we came out, after the film being good, && Bluewater was practically empty at 10:00 so we ran around the whole of Bluewater until we got tired/bored/whatever. But it was fun. =]
Then I went home to find out there was a HUMUNGOUS spider on the loose in my house. Not what you want to know. =[ It's still lose. Help meee.
Too many QOTD's.
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| Fun. Lots of. |
[Wednesday
August 23rd, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Deathcab For Cutie-Photobooth |
] |
I'm mean && lazy because I should have written this LJ entry the day before yesterday.
But yeah.
I went to Bluewater. With Will =]
We saw Matt && Frase && Jen.! Funness. We saw Stretch people.! && I met Charlie && he was WELL cool. && I want his hat. We saw Sam && Connie [loveness] We saw John Tucker Must Die. Go see it. It's awesome. then we wandered, && guess what?!
Go on.
Okay, you give up?!
I Ate. YES, I ate.
You won't get this unless your surname's Martin.
&& yeah, we went back, went to Westminsters, ate, drank, && were VERY VERY merry. Then I "lost my phone". Which was very fun.
Then I went home. && was sad. Because will's house is nicer than my house.
The End.
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| I Don't See Why this Had To Be Written. |
[Monday
August 21st, 2006 ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Why? |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
From first to Last-Emily |
] |
Okay. Because I'm genuine, like Bekah, I'm going to tell you this is going to be a rambling essay, so if you know me and my opinions, know what I'm going to say, but STILL want to read on, go ahead. If you don't agree with any of my opinions, piss off. K thanks.
Certain events yesterday have made me realise that you can't take people for granted. You have to realise that people ARE there for you, even if they seem not to be. You're always being thought of, no matter where you are, no matter how fucked up you are in that place, or where you're going afterwards. Some people say sorry, when it isn't necessary. I can admit I'm one of these people. I realise that I shouldn't say it as often as I should, but I just can't stop myself. It's been a default ever since I was little. I was told by parents, or other family members to always say sorry if you make a mistake. But they never told you what TYPE of mistake. Something as stupid as not picking your child up in time for playgroup, or spending too much money on sweets. They're the things that you're NOT supposed to say sorry for. If you were late picking your child up, you must have had something more important to do that took priority. Because if you REALLY were bothered about getting there on time, you would have made it possible. You got a say in it. And your parents told you that spending too much money on sweets was bad, so you were only allocated a certain amount of money. And yet you still spent more than you should. Because obviously, even the best behaved children disobey their parents, just because they think they were in the right. For instance, the children couldn't see their parents point of view, therefore saw no hurt in disobeying them, or going against their wished, because they didn't know what damage it was going to do to the parents. But people always say sorry for the wrong things these days. People say it too much, without even thinking, saying it without even knowing the real meaning of the word. If they did, and they remembered the definition before they said it, it wouldn't be said NEARLY as much as it's said today. To be sorry is to express pity. Or regret. Or to show you feel bad for something that's occured under your responsibilty. Feeling inferior. To portray that something's a "sorry" excuse, or reason for something that should have never happened. Yet no one realises how it should be correctly used, and uses it in completely the wrong context, for the completely wrong reasons.
I've also seen people that were affected by the way people say sorry so often. People say it to excuse their poor responsibility, or just because they've said something that they regret. No one ever says it because they WANT to. They say it because they feel they should, or, more commonly, NEED to. I never realised how much it was said until it was said when it wasn't needed. I can't believe how many people make excuses for what has happened in their lives, or even other people's. There are actually people out there, including me, that they feel the need to say sorry, not because I'm making excuses, but I do it because I keep making mistakes. I don't think I've done anything positive, or at least above average for a while. Or rather, something that no one else can do better, at least. I don't see why people can't see what I'm doing wrong. They tell me not to say sorry. But I can see. I say it because I think I NEED to. I know that's the worst form of inadequacy, or even desperation, a sort-of calling out for people to help. Not just because I need rescuing. It's because I know there's not any other way of rescuing me. It has to be performed by someone else. My friends. People that I assumed cared about me, and would want to help me out of the unhealthy situation I'm in. Fat chance of that. I didn't think that I'd stay in that state of mind long. I shouldn't lay my trust in people's hands like that. You only get hurt in the end. There are a lot of ways that I can portray myself, I just feel I can't fit to any of them. And every time I try, I fail. There are things that have given me a confidence boost, just things that people have said, or did to make me feel the least bit important. And then I've just fallen further after something else has been said, that wasn't necessarily meant to be negative, it's just the way I've taken it. Because that's me and that's the way I take it. I take everything as a negative comment, because I think that's the way I should always take it. Then I'd never be disappointed. I'll never be let down. That's the way I've been brought up. Not to come to expect things, because if you don't get it, then you're never let down. And yet I've been let down plenty of times in my life. As have I let other people down, or betrayed them.
I've definitely betrayed two people, thanks to the mood I was in yesterday, just because I was in an insecure mood, taking everything negatively, making sure no one gave me anything to make me feel good about myself. I never wanted anything to end up like this, and I always told myself I'd never let it get this bad, but it has, I just don't want people knowing it has. It might make me seem inferior. It'll just push more people away, and then I won't have anyone to help me, at all. It'll make me realise that being myself will just push other people away. I'll have less people to help me back on to the path that keeps me here. That's why I hide behind shadows. Everyone can admit that it's easier to be someone else, rather than portraying yourself. When you were little, everyone loved playing dress up. Or something even as easy-going as Cowboys And Indians. It gave you a chance to be someone that wasn't yourself. Hide And Seek. Gave you a chance to try something new, find somewhere and for someone to come and find you, so you can share that new place with someone. Even if it was as simple as underneath the dining table.
I just feel like I can't help anyone anymore, that I can't help myself. I've dealt with the latter one, but once I realised I can't help OTHER people, or brighten OTHER people's day, I've REALLY hit rock bottom. The only thing keeping me going was helping others, making OTHER people happy. Brightening THEIR day, even if I couldn't brighten my own. but now that's over, I don't have much to live for. I don't feel like I have the relationship with a lot of people like I did before, and I don't even feel close enough for me to tell them this, so I have to hide it until it's too late. I'm portraying myself as something different, depending on who I'm with. I can't be myself anymore, because to be honest, I don't know who that is. I can never find them anymore. People know who they are, but I can never seem to find out who the person is that controls me. I used to know who I was, and although I didn't like what it was, I still was at ease because I knew who it was. Now I have no idea, and when people ask me how I am, I do't know how to answer, becuase I think I'm okay, but because I have no idea who I am anymore, I don't know REALLY how I am, and even if I do, I don't know how to explain how that feeling comes across to me. People say I've changed. Maybe I have, but I can't help that. I can't help the way I am or the fact I can't control myself. I don't have anyone anymore, I just feel alone, and when I do have people with me, they're only there because they're sick of everywhere else, and I'm their last resort. I don't mind, because I don't blame them [I mean who could?] but I just feel that I shouldn't be like this, when I've obviously got SOME people who love me, even if they don't show it, or I don't seem to appreciate it. I know they do, I just don't know how to show my grattitude. And because of this, they never get to know how much I really feel for them, think that I'm changing, and that I don't show emotion, get tired, and move on. It's the way it is. I've learned to live with it, I just get a little sick of it sometimes. As anyone would.
People say forgive and forget, as well. Commonly known saying. People never forgive, or forget. It's always going to be in the back of your mind, eating at you, telling you that person has betrayed you, telling you to leave them to their own devices, because they dont deserve your attention. Because you're better than that. Because you shouldn't stoop to that level. Because there will always be someone that can help them, but that just can't possibly be you. It makes the person less appealing. Less appealing to you, because of what you've done. You don't think it makes the blindest bit of difference, yet in the back of your mind it's telling you to hate the person that betrayed you with all you have, and all the energy inside of you. And people are always seeing positive things about you. That you can never see. And I knwo they're lying jsut to keep me sweet, but I'd rather them tell me the truth, and tell it like it is rather than them have to lie to me every time they want to tell me something. There really is no point in telling me if what you're about to tell me is a lie. I know people do it for comfort and loyalty, but I'd rather they just didn't. People lie too much in the world, I don't see why people lie. I know sometimes it spares feelings, but I'm sure if there wasn't so much lying in the world already, and it to be used so commonly nowadays, I'm sure people would excuse the comments made by other people, evfen if theya re negative, because they don't expect the person to lie. so they can forgive them for saying something negative, because it's the truth. People lie all the time just to see what reaction they get, or because they want something. they shouldn't have to. People lie about me, and tell me things that aren't really trure, and it infuriated me that people think I'm stupid enough not to see I'm everything they're saying I'm not. and vice versa.
Everyone has everyone else. They can trust eachother. They can talk to eachother. No one seems to want to talk to me, that's why maybe I can't talk to other people anymore, I just feel like I'm intruding on somewhere that once was, but isn't there any more. They all carry on as if nothing's ever happened. As if they're not leaving anyone behind. Not deliberately leaving anyone back, but never checking behind where they're walking, to see if they've left anyone back there. But then again, in this day and age, you have to look after Number 1, otherwise you won't get anywhere. I'm right, arent I?
Thought as much.
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[Wednesday
August 9th, 2006 ] |
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mood |
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Happeee |
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music |
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Wheatus-Teenage Dirtbag [<3] |
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OH ma GAWD.
Today was awesome.
Spent the day till like 2:00pm in bed, then went out with Will.
We had fun.
Well, I did.
Will went mad about not being able to drink through a McDonalds spoon, && I made a long lasting rolo milkshake.
We watched Drop Dead Fred, which was WELL funny.
We had pizza, && no one liked the mushroom pizza. Poor li'l mushroom pizza =[.
Then we watched pigs being killed on the TV. It was well cool.
Then we fell asleep outside. [Giggles]
Then I heard the crabs for lunch joke, && before I even knew what it was about, I laughed, but not at the joke. Liz && Elaine were SO funny =]
Then Will's parents were nice enough to drop me home =]
It was SUCH a good day, thankyou soooo much Will =]
Love you. [More].
<3
P.S Will's family rock, just to tell ya' =]
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[Friday
July 28th, 2006 ] |
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mood |
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Funniful! |
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music |
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Kelly Clarkson-Miss Independant |
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Oh Ma Gawd.
Yesterday was like THE BEST.
I <3 you so much Rachem.
WEEEEE
Went Dirtford t'day, it was awsomest, as always.
WEEEEE
Went to our special shop, which was fun, && I bought a wickedcool bracelet that had Will Power written on it =]. But ONE DILEMMA. There was no Silly String! [le gasp] Yes, I know.
WEEEEE
Went to Superdrug && got drinks even though we didn't need to. We talked about how Dr Pepper doesn't smell at ALL like how it tastes.
WEEEEE
Went to the furniture shop, cause they had a SALE, && we couldn't resist. Rachel nearly broke several things && got funnied at by a complete stranger. Lawl! =D.
WEEEEE
Went to McDonalds && ate till our hearts content, Rachem became a camwhore, && although we were a little broken-hearted about there being no toys, we made up for it by snorting coke [yeah we did].
WEEEEE
Went to WHSmith's && saw Whassisface && Thingymajig in there. We waved, && they thought we were CERAZY.
WEEEEE
Went to New Look && I bought officially THE SEXIEST HAT EVER. && then Rachel moaned about her make up. My hat is sexy, just so ya'll know.
WEEEEE
Went to le photobooth && took some wickedcool pict0ors, && there was one in there already that a person had obviously forgotten, a canniball guy with an earring! Funny! [The other photo we took was crap so Rachel ripped it up && threw it over us.]
WEEEEE
Got Pick && Mix && went to eat it in the park, was well fun. Except we had stories about the gummy bear that was Tasha Jr. that was scared of gummy worms, ate/made incestual references toward her own child, who she eventually raped and mud wrestled with. Then I ate all the gummy bears that were covered in dirt && stones =D I'll eat anything, I tells ya.
WEEEEE
Got Happy Beans which were the coolest.
Such fun Rachem, thankee soo much!!
Loves lotsses. Poorplé Et Blóo Forever x
Quote Of The Day: I can smell smoky bacon crisps." "Yeah, me too. I think it's the flowers." "What?!"
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[Sunday
July 16th, 2006 ] |
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music |
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Jojo-Get Out :]] |
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Yet another thing with Mikey. God this guy is great.
Ants, huh? says:
I think we need to talk about last night.
.x.JustToHearYouSayThatYouLoveMeOneLastTime.x. <3 Will <3 says:
come again?
Ants, huh? says:
*Comes again*
Ants, huh? says:
Hehehe, that was a funny.
.x.JustToHearYouSayThatYouLoveMeOneLastTime.x. <3 Will <3 says:
[goes in QOTD]
Chocking On Your Spit says:
But what about the possoms, they've never had the limelight, well, they did back in the 80's. Oh, how things have changed.
.x.JustToHearYouSayThatYouLoveMeOneLastTime.x. <3 Will <3 says:
poor little possoms. Let's go take them some pie and pop.
Chocking On Your Spit says:
No pop after seven! It makes the littlest one rowdy.
.x.JustToHearYouSayThatYouLoveMeOneLastTime.x. <3 Will <3 says:
thats just swell. They may get a little tipsy but the bubbles will make them happy. Go on Mikey. Only once.
I Grew Some Hair In An Odd Place says:
Awright, but if they start another colony, then I'm blaming the clouds. Look at them, just plotting away...
.x.JustToHearYouSayThatYouLoveMeOneLastTime.x. <3 Will <3 says:
I know! But really, the airplanes kill them every day you know. It just mkakes them angry. But then again, the bird lick all the vapour out of the clouds to make them angry.
I Grew Some Hair In An Odd Place says:
It's angry, angry, angrrry!
.x.JustToHearYouSayThatYouLoveMeOneLastTime.x. <3 Will <3 says:
I knooooooow.
.x.JustToHearYouSayThatYouLoveMeOneLastTime.x. <3 Will <3 says:
I'll laugh if it rains today.
Funny Mikey!
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